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responding to our anger

9/18/2013

3 Comments

 
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"I am still thinking about your use of the verse 'let not the sun go down on your anger.' says Steve in his comment referring to my previous blogs about anger. "I have always heard that interpreted to mean that we should get over anger quickly. You used it differently, saying it meant that we should act on our anger promptly. It seems that in general Scripture warns against quick action from anger. On the other hand, the verse starts with the command,
'Be angry,' so maybe it’s not talking about wrong anger, but righteous anger."


You are right in noticing that there are differences
between dealing with a personal offense and "righteous anger." 
However, with both kinds of anger,
I do not think we should “act on our anger promptly” but we should “deal with” our anger.  
To illustrate this, let’s consider the dangers in both “acting on” our anger and “getting over” our anger.
 
Although “dealing with” anger could be considered one way of acting on it,
the term “acting on” anger sounds scary to me.
It feels like we’re reacting to something, allowing our anger to control us and our actions.
Anger is a very powerful, fast-moving emotion.
Acting quickly on an angry impulse almost always causes problems rather than solving them
and can easily lead to sin.
Therefore the warning, “Be angry and sin not.”
 
Because of this danger,
Christians often feel (or are taught) that becoming angry is in itself sinful.
This belief often leads those who want most to please God to deny of their anger.
“I’m not angry” is a common phrase among us.
But denial, sometimes called repression,
is not “dealing with” anger but is one way of refusing to deal with it.
We convince ourselves that our anger is not, and has never been, there,
often by giving it a different, less offensive name. 
 
Another common response, along with repression, is to “get over anger quickly.”
Look at the words to get a picture of what this means.
We step over it and go on, leaving it behind us, refusing to look back.
This seems to be a good thing to do.
This way, we hope to escape our shame over becoming angry
and our fears of what it may cause us to do.
Sometimes we even label it as forgiveness.
By closing our anger off from our minds, we hope to escape its influence.
But suppressing anger, refusing to think about it, is not “dealing with” our anger. 
 
Psychologists are quick to warn
that both repression and suppression of anger only drives it underground
where it is manifests in our bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits
in ways that are difficult for us to recognize. 
  
When the Bible says, “Let not the sun go down on your anger,”
I think it is telling us to deal with it quickly.
Dealing with anger is an active process
in which the angry person has hard work to do.
It is quite easy to let our anger control us.
While we are releasing our anger,
we might feel a sense of relief or power,
but really we are being swept along, at the mercy of our rage.
Denial and suppression are also much easier
than the challenging job of thinking about what has happened and why we feel the way we do.
It takes courage and determination to deal with anger.
But that will take a bit more discussion, so let’s save that for another blog. 

Until next time, keep considering Ephesians 4:26-28 NASU: 
Be angry, and yet do not sin; 
do not let the sun go down on your anger, 
and do not give the devil an opportunity. 
 
Comments are welcomed. Click on Comments to the right of this title.

3 Comments

stuffing anger at injustice

9/10/2013

2 Comments

 
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I love it when people respond to my blog! 
This form entry stirred so many thoughts I couldn’t bear to respond privately.
So with Steve’s permission,
you are being allowed to listen in on my response to his comments on my two previous blogs on anger:  
“when anger takes us by surprise” and “the fire of anger.”
In this blog we’ll deal with his first paragraph.

Here’s Steve.
"Your thoughts about anger were interesting. I see and hear so much injustice that I have gotten into the habit of choosing not to think of some things, because I can't do anything about them. For example, I can get very angry thinking about discarded baby girls in China, but because I feel helpless to do anything about it, I put the thoughts out of my mind. I am a mission director and I am doing all that I can already. But I am not sure that's the right way of dealing with my feelings."

I understand, Steve, that feeling of being overwhelmed by the evil in our world.
But I, too, sense that trying to ignore the anger I feel may not be the best way to deal with it.
In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
Stephen R Covey explains the importance of focusing on our circle of influence rather than our circle of concern.
He recommends avoiding wasting time and emotional energy on things that concern us but are beyond our control.
I agree.
The key is to determine what we can influence. 

While writing devotional and discussion guides for my novels, I have seen some things that may be helpful.
Let’s try it out just for fun.

Suppose I witness a huge injustice that I perceive to be outside my circle of influence.
The pain burns hot in my heart.
What do I do?
I could attempt to forget about it, but it will still be there,
disquieting my heart, a simmering sickness under the surface
causing me to feel helpless, ashamed, frustrated, confused.
What if, instead of stuffing,
I, as one of God’s children,
accepted responsibility for what is within my realm of influence?
Perhaps this sharp pain of anger is God’s way of prompting me to run to Him, my Heavenly Father, crying for help. 
What if that is my responsibility?

What if in the heat of my righteous anger I immediately cry out to God?
That passionate cry will be fueled with an intensity of deep and sincere concern
a bit different than I usually experience in my chosen times to pray.
“Lord, I feel the pain of this injustice that hurts Your heart.
I admit I am helpless to do anything to remedy this terrible situation, but You are not. 
at creation You gave Adam’s race the right to rule earth,
and Jesus taught us to ask that Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
So I am doing my part, the part I can do.
Right now, I appeal to You to intervene in this injustice.
I release this situation into Your almighty hands.
Call in people to do what needs to be done.
If there is a part You want me to do, make it clear to me exactly what it is.
Otherwise, I will rest in You faithfulness to answer this prayer.
I will resist the accuser's harassments as he attempts to rob me of my peace and joy, my confidence in You.
Each time this situation comes to my mind, I will rejoice that You are already at work.”

What do you think, Steve?
Is this doing my part? 
 
Readers are free to make comments by going to “Comments” to the right of the title.

Until next time, if you experience the heat of righteous anger in your heart, use it to your advantage. 
Allow the fire of anger to fuel your passion as you cry for God's intervention.
David, the Psalmist, was good at that.
 
Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. Psalm 55:17 NIV


 
2 Comments

what's on your bucket list?

9/4/2013

2 Comments

 
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Did you see the 2007 American comedy-drama film called The Bucket List?
If so, you know what a bucket list is—a list of things you want to do before you die (kick the bucket).

I’m glad Matthew Russell saw that movie and decided to make his own bucket list.
Why is his list important to me, you ask?
Well, one of his goals was to design a book cover.
Last week he held in his hands the first proof of his dream come true—Joel’s Wife,
the sequel to Hannah’s Promise. 

But his holding a proof copy is not good enough—for him, or me,
or those of you who have been waiting for my next novel.
The good news is that the novel will be on sale in November of this year.
If you are one of those enthused readers who's been waiting impatiently, stir up some excitement.
Make comments about my novels, Hannah's Promise or Transformed in Bethany 
to whet the appetites of others for this (I promise you!) fantastic story.
In a few days, I'll let you read what is written on the back cover of Joel’s Wife.

Until then here's a verse for you.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3 NIV

Don't forget to make your comments using the COMMENT tab at the top of this post.





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    Author/Speaker

    Arlene Pinkley Ussery shares insights and research concerning  the power of the story to change values of individuals and societies. Relying on research, she shows how good literature improves readers relationships, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.  From her experience of living in Israel and studying the Bible, history, and culture, she deepens readers understanding of Biblical times. Her stories challenge and comfort.

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